kamu

aku ingin menghilang

mungkin berlebihan bila aku berkata hidupku terlalu melelahkan
tapi aku rasa tiap orang memiliki titik henti di mana mereka boleh menghela nafas dan berkata
"CUKUP"
mungkin berlebihan bila aku terlalu sakit hingga memilih mati
tapi bukankah semua orang punya presepsi sakit yang berbeda-beda?

sekarang aku sudah cukiup kuat untuk bangkit
meskipun langkahku berdarah-darah tapi aku tetap mampu untuk terseok-seok mencari jalan yang baru

di awal kegilaan ini
aku merasa putus asa karena aku tau
semua mimpiku hangus dibakar waktu
dan tak ada lagi yang bisa kulakukan selain mengemban tanggung jawab yang terpaksa aku jalani
aku tidak punya pilihan untuk bahagia
karena aku tau mimpiku berujung pada kamu

aku tau kamu terlalu jauh untuk kugapai
dan kini kamu terlalu mahal untuk kumiliki

namun aku sekarang mengerti
saat aku masih bisa di sini dan melihat senyummu mengambang
mungkin aku memang masih hidup

aku mencoba meminimalkan luka yang sudah ada
aku menekan semua keinginanku agar hatiku hampa
karena ternyata lebih mudah menjadi mayat hidup tanpa hati
karena aku tidak pelu menelan rinduku yang terlampau pahit

aku mencoba berbahagia dengan segala hal sederhana
aku mencoba bahagia karena masih bisa bernafas
aku mencoba bahagia karena di dunia tempat aku terasing ini
masih ada kamu

terlalu gilakah aku untuk membiarkan semua hidupku berotasi padamu?
kurasa tidak
karena tanpa kamu aku tidak sanggup lagi
karena kamu aku berharap masih ada satu mimpi yang bisa aku kerjar
karena kamu aku terdengar lebih manusia
karena aku merasakan cinta
lagipula aku tidak meminta apa-apa
aku tidak mengeluh
aku tidak menangis
aku menyimpan ini sendiri
aku tak peduli bila kamu tak tau

dan bila suatu saat nati kita tetap tidak bisa bersama
aku tetaplah sangat beruntung karena bisa hidup dan bertambah tua
di sekitar kamu

melihat

kamu

hanya

kamu

dan

kamu

selalu

kamu

where are you

i know you're playing cool
but it won't kill you if you just say hi
or whatever

darn it!
where the hell are you?!

do you remember?

i miss you

YOU

yes it was you !
i can't believe it how long i haven't seen your face
you're getting cuter
and i just realized how much i miss you
i thought that feeling was getting less and less
but guess what
you're still the one who could make me act stupid
you're the one who could make me shy
you're the one who could make me freeze at one point starring at your face
you're still the one who could make me love someone that much

you should know it
you're just like the air that i breathe
loving you as easy as breathing
no need to think cause that's what my body needs
you're just like my road back to home
i'll always pass that road
like i'll always love you

i miss you
i love you
i want you
i need you

i wish i could turn back time
:(

and again
all i wanna say is
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU

hope is everywhere

dont stop believing
life must go on

mr. pathetic

it's so funny to see you there
mocking around about me
talking crap about my past
denying your own heart

you should have known that you were act stupid
you knew that you were too much pretending
and you just couldn't forget me
and you just blame it on me

it's pathetic when you couldn't move on
when you know that i was so moving on
it's so sad to be alone
when you know that i'll never be alone

you'll always stuck with that painful thought
cause i'll always be there smiling on your mind
you couldn't lie
cause i know exactly what you feel

mister, i fell nothing about it
when i see you're dying
i just enjoy every second to see you screaming with that pain

mister, i'll never be better than this
cause i just had realized that i shouldn't have to staying here with your stupid mind

mister, you're not better than me
cause you just can't stay strong and facing the truth
you were running away from this fucking reality
and hiding in your lies

mister, you're pathetic
cause you just keep blaming the situation
it's all your fault to be that fucking cowardly dog
that situation was made by your own stupidity

so goodbye forever
have fun with your own loneliness
your lies will never strong enough to protect you from the reality

mister pathetic

morning

suddenly your face just come up
and i feel totally weird cause i can't really explain what i feel inside
i don't know is it love?
is it nothing?
is it.... what?

but all i know is i miss you
i wish i could see you around

well
morning
miss you
mylove