simple HAPPINESS

we fight we pissed we mocking we murmuring
but it's all worth it anyway
i don't care how much we fight how much we yell
all i know is i'm so happy to be with you

for some people
they keep holding on because they're afraid to lose someone
they're afraid to feel the pain
although they aren't happy anymore

but that's so not me
i ever be sad i ever be disappointed i ever be pissed
but that's not what it's all about
i'm happy to be with you
that's the reason why i keep holding on
there goes my pride
so what?
it's not about pride anymore
and i know i've changed a lot
i may lose some of my fun but who cares
that type of fun just last for one night
but you
you make me happy every single day

so, don't you ever questioning
am i happy
or do i regret this
obviously
i'm so happy
and i love you
:)

start with forever

:)

nothing to say

i love you

price i pay

to be loved and loving

it's a beautiful thing
the most happiest thing
i really love to loving you
and i love to be loved by you

lately
we fight a lot
this isn't our best week
this isn't our best moment
i'm pissed mostly not by your act
i'm pissed because i wish i could be more than this
i mean
i'd rather be the one to blame and make it right at the end of the day
i don't give a damn about my pride
but i just can't
i'm just a human anyway
i could be pissed
and you really are pushing the wrong button
you've gone too far
and i'm mad actually

i just try to keep it together
i don't wanna make it worse
i was just try to holding back

yes it's the price i pay
but i don't mind
i don't wanna lose you
i love you so much
i just sad cause i feel like you don't even realize it
you don't even try to change

i just
i don't know
maybe you don't love me like the way i want
it's fine

i love you anyway
just please don't let me go

i miss you, i miss us

my future just as random as my thoughts

seperti biasa lagi mendadak random
merasa banyak yang dipikirin padahal otak kosong
merasa banyak yang harus diceritakan padahal idup begitu-begitu aja

lagi berpikir tentang masa depan
maksud gw masa depan itu beneran masa depan ya bukan masa depan khayalan yang penuh dengan doraemon dan mobil terbang diparkir di genteng
ini tentang masa depan gw yang terasa sangat blur

gw gag punya bayangan apa yang akan gw lakuin buat mengisi masa depan gw
yang ada di otak gw cuma gw akan kaya raya dengan rumah impian dan unlimited cash
gimana cara?gag tau --"

gw bayangin betapa susahnya kerja dari 0
langsung mau muntah
gw bayangin gw suatu saat akan menikah
klo gw bayangin enak2nya aja si super unyu
tapi deep inside my heart i dont wanna be married EVER!
weird?
ok gw kasi tau kenapa
di depan mata gw banyak pernikahan yang hancur
contoh pastinya orangtua gw
gw gag merasa itu suatu kesalah atau apalah yang harus dilebay2in
cuma gw jadi berpikir aja
gw lebih tahan menghadapi idup gw yang sendiri dan dikatain orang gag laku
daripada gw harus merasakan saat loe harus pisah sama orang yang tadinya loe anggep soul mate loe
pisah sama orang yang tadinya loe anggep akan ada sampe disaat terakhir loe ngeliat dunia
pisah sama orang yang loe liat di bangun tidur loe dan loe liat disaat sebelom loe tidur

gw rasa itu rasa sakit yang agak kurang worth it buat dirasain
jelas pernikahan beda sama pacaran
waktu loe ucapin wedding vow loe
jelas loe bilang loe mau sama itu orang sampe loe mati
dan loe ingkarin sumpah loe sendiri
dan loe terpuruk

mungkin itu terlalu dramatis
cuma secara garis besar emang itu yang gw takutin
mungkin ada masalah juga sama komitmen ya
gw agak takut sama komitmen

tapi gw leih takut sama rasa sakit yang gw belom tau sesakit apa

itu salah satu dari masa depan gw yang masih blur
gimana dengan karir

bisakalh loe bayangin saar orangtua loe udah capek dibebanin sama anak kacrut kayak kita yang nyusahin
saat mereka udah tua dan butuh kita jaga
saat mereka butuh kita beranjak dewasa
dalam segala hal termasuk finansial
loe ud siap?

gimana kalo kerjaan loe begitu2 aja
gimana kalo gaji loe bahkan gag cukup buat nutupin idup loe yang tanpa loe sadari lumayan hedon
loe musti ngapain?

setiap harinya makin banyak orang di bumi ini
setiap harinya kualitas orang mustinya makin meningkat
dan kita gag sehigh quality itu sampe loe pede loe bakal lebih sukses dibandingin sama orang2 lain

kadang pikiran2 cemen yang hopeless ini bisa bikin stress
padahal si emang otak gw dangkal
yang dipikirin paling cuma sedikit
itupun aja gw udah suka bingung
gimana ntar?
saat otak gw makin kompleks
saat otak gw (semoga aja) makin berisi
saat ocehan gw mulai terdengar pintar gag kayak sekarang
bakal seberapa depresi gw saat itu?

kembali ini menjadi pertanyaan yang gag terjawab
dan ya banyak pertanyaan cemen tanpa jawaban
dan lebih baik gw sekarang kembali terhanyut dalam pikiran dangkal gw yang blur
dan mencoba mencari kacamata yang pas untuk melihat dengan lebih jelas

happy friday!

hello there

hey there
you're my every day lately
you're my every thought
you're my every lost pieces
you're my everyTHING

and guess what
the feeling's getting heavier
i can't feel the gravity

i just want you to know
i may look careless
i'm not
i don't know how to be sweet
i'm not use to it
i'm surprise by the feelings that i never felt before
i just don't know what to do

i just want you to know that
I LOVE YOU

officially fallen

now i know what i have to do

stop listening being deaf could be helpful somehow
follow my stupid heart
just let it be

love is the main reason of this stupidity
but i don't give a damn
i'm happy anyway
and all of those tears worth it anyway

so fuck off
head over heels i'm fucking fallen
and i'm happy to say that i love you

when common sense doesn't make any sense

When I've been told by someone about you,about the different side of you that I don't even know
It breaks my heart
How they say that you don't wanna be with me anymore
How you tend to lie to me
How you would like to have another girl in your life
How it may be on purpose when you became irritating somehow
How you want to avoid me

When will you get enough by only one girl?
Do you really love me that much?
Do you really mean every words you say?
Cause up untill now,honestly I trust you more than anything
Though it really makes sense
Though actually that's the truth

If you don't wanna be with me anymore
Why would you act like you do?
What's with all of those attention?
It's getting more confusing
Cause even if you really are a jerk
I don't give a damn anyway

I love you so much I can't just stop
The worst part is
I don't care if I'm being hurted
As long as I get the chance to be with you as long as possible

So please don't lie
Cause I do trust you more than anything
And I love you more than you could imagine

Love you too much