Wednesday, May 1, 2013


first chapter always be so exciting full of love and gooey shitty stuff
but day by day you'll started to miss your room back
your space you freedom your voice
because i becoming us
and us by mean you and you will always right
and i;m vanishing into us
and i'm becoming the smallest part of this relationship

yes i love you madly
but yes you drive me insane
where am i right know?
i have a crisis and you don't even care
i push away everything and you still controlling me

it's my fault to let you do this
but i love you that's why

throw up

oh yeah nothing new still full of shit

it's super confusing somehow i don't know how to be happy (again)
well yeah i'm happy with this and that and stuffs
but really what is the ultimate happiness?

i'm tired of looking for something new
habitual shit becoming my comfort zone
but really there's an exhaustion in me that i will never release

yes i'm so confused since forever
and yes everything about me seem so gloomy and depressing
i'm not this whiny actually
really writing is like my stress relief so no wonder why my writings all so gloomy
i write when i get depressed

i always get this vomiting feeling when i get mad or sad
maybe it's sort of a releasing moment to release the pain
there are lots of things in life that make me sick and fed up
don't know what to do and i feel so small
i'm nothing but a dot of dust

i don't even know why i'm writing about this
but i just need a place to talk
so yeah here i am
talking to myself
eat up my tears