sayang

sayang
menangislah sampai puas karna sebentar lg aku akan pergi dalam tawa
sayang
merintihlah kepadaku karna akulah yang menyayat hatimu itu
sayang
berteriaklah sekencang-kencangnya karna aku juga yang membakar jiwamu

sayang
lihatlah ke belakang
ingatlah apa yang sempat kamu katakan
dan lihatlah apa jadinya kamu sekarang

sayang
kamu akan mati
di depan wajahku
sekarang

for you

i know you won't read this so i guess it's fine to write this thing here

you know, actually i've been in love with you since we started our relationship
you're the most special and i guess, you're just the best i ever had
i can't stop loving you
well maybe it's because we have to see each other every day either
when i had a long holiday and i didn't met you, i could be careless bout you
but...... when i see your face again, i just couldn't be normal
that feeling just fill up my heart again and again and again

i know i did stupid things
i acted stupid
and i treated you like a crap
but i was just a stupid kid i'm too young to notice what i really felt at that time
i was selfish and i was fucking careless

but as time goes by and i've grown up
i've learnt so many things
but then i did my stupid mistake the most stupid mistake
and i couldn't tell you what it is until now
i have no guts to tell you

and after all the things i've been thru
i just realized that my world revolves arounf you
i can't forget you
i love you until now
still as strong as before

i wanna let you know
but i'm too afraid
cause i guess you're gonnna think that i'm so silly, foolish, and weird

but this is what i feel
I LOVE YOU
and i fucking miss you
and i'm so sorry about all of the stupid things that i did
i didn't mean it at all
i know i was stupid

well
sorry
and
i love you still
i wish i could tell you this
but i can't

:(

i HATE YOU! cause i love you so damn much

I hate it when you talk to her like that
I hate it when you talk about her to me like that
I hate it when you look at her like that

I hate it when I can't stand your cute smile
I hate it when I can't stop thinking about you
I hate it when I realized that I never stop loving you
I hate it when I know that I love you that much
I hate you
I love you

INSOMNIA

I wanna sleep
I need a dream
But in this few weeks
I only could get a fucking nightmare
I wanna sleep
I'm tired
Feeling like a fool
There's nothing I can do
I wanna sleep
I'm sick of that vision
I hate all of those memory
That's broken dreams
Nobody can fix it
I wanna sleep
I need a rest
But I just can't
Restless
I wanna sleep
I'm so fed up with this reality
I just wanna go somewhere else
I wanna sleep
But I can't
Just can't
Insomnia
I wanna sleep

paramore - the only exception :(

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that
I'm content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream-

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

help me

Angin berkejaran menerobos tubuhku yang hampa
Kesunyian menukik menusuk hatiku yang telah tiada
Aku tak tau apa yg kurasa
Apakah aku punah?
Karna rasanya aku terasing dari dunia
Apakah aku tidak kasat mata?
Karna tak ada yg mau menatapku
Apakah aku mati?
Karna rasanya aku lupa caranya bernafas

Aku terkunci dalam ruang hampa udara
Aku tak tau jalan keluarnya
Dan tak ada yg tau aku telah hilang
Aku mau berlari
Membawa ceritaku yabg telah busuk
Aku mau pergi
Membuang kenanganku yang telah mati

Aku terkunci
Aku tak bisa pergi
Aku
Aku
Aku
Aku
Aku
Terkunci

i'm not OKAY

Saya memang mampu menampakkan wajah itu
Saya selalu datar agar tak terbaca
Tak ada yg tau hati saya rusak
Hati saya hanya tersisa serpihan-serpihan kecil saja
Jiwa saya sakit
Sejujurnya saya tidak mampu
Tapi kemana lagi saya harus mengadu?
Saya berkali-kali ingin mati
Tapi begitu banyak pertimbangan yang memberatkan
Saya tidak mau pergi sebagai manusia yang lepas tanggung jawab
Saya ingin teriak
Saya sendirian
Saya bukannya kuat saya hanya tak bisa lagi mengeluh
Saya lupa caranya bermanja-manja
Saya lupa caranya berbagi kesedihan
Saya lupa caranya meluapkan kepedihan ini
Saya lupa
Karna saya terbiasa sendiri dalam diam
Saya tidak berani bersuara
Saya takut ada yang mendengar
Saya menangis dalam diam
Saya meronta dalam diam
Saya sedih
Saya sepi
Dalam diam
Dan tidak
Saya tidak baik-baik saja

i ain't numb SHIT!!!

My heart is sick
I'm such a great pretender
But I'm totally sick
I can't handle this fucking life
Should I give up?

Yes miracle doesn't happen
Shit does happen

Here I am crying without tears
Screaming without voices
Alone
Nobody knows
I wanna die seriously

:( :( :( :( :( :( :(

i wish you were here

I don't know
I just need somebody
I don't know
I feel so alone
I don't know

I just try real hard to survive
I guess I need someone to be here
I wanna talk I wanna laugh
I just couldn't do that alone
I can't do all of those things with all of this fucking people
I can't find the right person

I promise to myself
I will never ever trust anyone else but me
I swear I couldn't get through the heartsick period again and again
I just wanna be happy

I feel so alone
I wish you were here
I wish somebody is here